A constant state of Pysch Debt by design

FACT; We come into this world with limits,, we have only so much energy, only so many resources, only so many heart beats and breaths. How we're taught to manage our resources depends upon how those to whom we are entrusted interact with us. Do those who are in charge of our care make more "deposits" than "withdrawals?" Do they validate what we feel when we express ourselves? Do they show respect for us when we express ourselves or do they treat us like we don't matter? Do our care givers fight in front of us either verbally or Physically thereby depleting some of our energy? Do they "feed" us healthily by demonstrating loving, respectful relating between themselves or do they interact with each other in disrespectful and less-than healthy ways?

 I've been asking these questions and looking into these issues for 3 decades because it was so clear to me at a very early age that I was being ripped off emotionally from everyone around me and trained to be alright with it! To be in on making excuses for the One and Only chance I have at a decent life.
 I was on my own and having my vulnerable position used against me at a very young age. It's taking me many blogs to get to the point where I'm able to write about these issues because it is so ingrained in me that speaking out and expressing my true feelings is criminal. The balance of what healthy is has been so shifted and MIS aligned on so many levels that people have become OK with their own enslavement and degradation.

 I did my best on my own as a kid of 7, 8, 9 years old and on to speak out to my own "family" to the point where I was close to fighting to the death by the time I was a teenager. The program of the system was So implanted in my parent there was no reaching them. My "Parent" was literally the enemy when I was growing up as are many to certain degrees.

 I will just talk about my own situation that, to this day, I'm not allowed to talk about around so many people who are unaware that this is how the Status Quo gets maintained. People truly have NO idea that they are simply a walking Program for the Powers that Be!! They are like TERMINATORS,, unable to be reasoned with or reached, simply running on a program of consumerism and self destruction.

  I was born into a "Debt" situation, 2 people who had sex, made a couple of kids they didn't want, were not in love but had us anyway because it was against the Catholic Church to have an abortion. So you're very existence is based on, NOT having an abortion which was told to me in no uncertain terms,, "Be glad you weren't aborted", along with other "normal" expressions at the time like; "Be glad you have a roof over your head, clothes, food". That's what Prisoners have. This is "Family?!"
 I literally felt like my mother wanted to kill me, to be rid of me my entire childhood. I felt the entire time like an unwanted guest. As if I was born totally on my own, as if I brought myself here.
 This is equivalent to Emotional Torture. If I asked a Psychologist what the definition of emotional torture is, this would fit it. 
 
 The truly screwed up thing about it is the fact that it wasn't the abuse, emotional torture or abandonment that it the harmful thing, it's the DENIAL!!!

 It's ALL about NOT calling a spade a spade, it's ALL about calling and treating something OTHER than what it really is!!
 This idea that Sick and Dysfunctional is Normal and acceptable PROVES that the "climate" has shifted so far over that people's perceptions are completely skewed!

 Do people get themselves checked for Emotional or Mental Misalignment?? Do people pay attention to Emotional health? Is Health even a Priority in our Society?
 Can we be so surprised when we live in a system that worships fake man made fiat paper OVER everything else that health gets swept to the wayside by the very sick perception it's designed to address?

 I'm writing this due to having feelings of the world closing in on me my entire life and there's nothing I can do to stop it! The very people around you who should be on your side helping us to Gain leverage and respect are the ones actually knock us for trying to gain some. When we're taught at an early age that we're criminals for wanting what's rightfully ours, that WE're out of hand for having Healthy reactions to being screwed over!! That our Normal, healthy responses to life are wrong and skewed!! When it's the complete other way around!!
 How are we supposed to turn these things around when people can't even see this in themselves? When they can't even admit to themselves that they have an Altered mental Status,, the Exact deficient mental status that people experience after significant blood loss. Would we think it Normal to be walking around with 3 liters of blood instead of 6?? Would we think it "normal" to be blue, (cyanotic) and (diaphoretic) sweaty all the time? To have alzheimers at 40 or 30 years old??

 This is what's happening to us slowly and people don't even Feel it!! People are losing more and more of themselves and they don't even know it!! It's not $$,, it's your Health you need to be worrying about losing!! Because the PTB need to get that FIRST, they need to get you to lower your abilities first while your busy going after the Fake $$,, they're robbing your Mental perceptions!!
 I was treated at around 6 years of age as if I were already grown up and should be able to raise myself and be responsible and HOW DARE I need help or parenting!! There was something wrong ME for not being able to take care of myself!! Then when I was right, smart, sharp, calling them on their shit, they didn't like it! They wanted me to be the Leader when they wanted it, then not when I did better than them!! They wanted it all!! Like the PTB do NOW!!

 Privatizing the Gains, while Socializing the Losses!! They WIN no matter what!! We ALL live mini versions of this to some degree!!

 This is the SICK world we are living in!! I feel like the world is closing in on me since I'm so young! And there's Nothing I can do to Stop it unless I have REAL Family or friends. TRUE people who are there for you. Good luck! NOT many people go deep enough. It's ALL about FITNESS and too many people are Not fit! Period! We can no longer afford to be so casual about these issues!! RIGHT NOW there are people being blown up, tortured, raped, decapitated, violated, shamed, emotionally tortured, displaced, and more and we go on living our lives like nothing is wrong! Meanwhile, it's heading straight for us!! 

  We're digging into Nature More and more,, pushing it and balanced Health back more and more into sickness and mental Psychosis that we have NO idea the Blackness of mind and Soul that we are creating!!