"You should just go Kill yourself"

,,,Was what my cousin said to me yesterday in the slow, traffic, crawling drive to NJ with my other cousin, his sister, and her husband, in response to my saying, "there are too many people, not deer", in response to people saying "there are too many deer". We were talking about all the dead deer and other animals on the highway during the drive from NY to Ohio to go visit my brother in the hospital.
 RIGHT Nature is Wrong! Nature is the one out of Balance!!! Not us!! The Dead Deer are the ones our of Sync with Natural Law,, we're not!
 Sorry to say, but I TRULY think this society is Done! The same way that my brother's symptoms were ignored for too long which led to his serious injury,, which I don't here Anyone disputing, we're calling NATURE the one who's our of alignment!! Does that make sense?? Why is it that I don't hear anyone saying that The Body is wrong!? The injury and the response by the body to being dismissed and disregarded,, is incorrect??

 Everyone seems to unconsciously agree that Nature is running the show in that case and that when Nature/the Body says I'm done,. then it's,, Done, and YET, when there are a count of over 40 dead deer on the Road driving from NY to Ohio, it's "there are too many deer?"
 My not reproducing is not enough for me to do in curbing the passing down of the debt and pollution to the next generation,, I should "kill myself" if I think there are too many people and it's PEOPLE who are the one's out of sync with Nature because of Fake $$
 What should my response have been to someone, let alone,, a cousin saying that? I'm far from perfect but, if there's one thing I do make an effort practicing,, it's healthy relating. Noticing when my responses to situations and to people is, healthy or not. Most people do not pay attention to what healthy relationships are, to whether or not they're being Co-Dependent or not, or whether or not they're being "Enablers". Who's going to stand up to people when they're behaving out of line or bullying when, again, it's the very people who should be on your side supporting you who are the very people you need to come up with the "funds" to take on??!! The fact is,, You can NEVER get strong as long as you're always doing the doggie paddle and depleting your energy on people who have the label of "Family" yet are the one's you have to defend against.

  All you have to do is pay attention to your body, Period, not just when you have an injury, but ALL the time,, so you can be Adding to it when you're not injured! Does that makes sense according to Nature, that you're going to start having a relationship with your body when it's ready to Divorce and break up with you!!?? Now, that you've bankrupted your Health account is not the time to start learning to manage your health/energy. I guess it's never too late but, it would have been much smarter to develop a healthy relationship to your self and others a looong time ago, not when they no longer want to have anything to do with you.
 I mean, if ones own body wants a divorce,, that's good enough for me to listen to!
 "Family" was arguing in the car yesterday about, being "free" to enjoy life and "doing what you want" and "I" don't have the right to "inflict" my views on Health on anyone.  I was saying how most people are their own worst enemies and all their "wanting" is harming themselves.
Guess no one has learned anything about this tragic incident that happened to my brother, because if they did they would get that,, NATURE IS THE ONE THAT WILL INFLICT  on you if you don't respect it!! That's the whole point, it's not ME saying it,, I'm advocating people to listen to Nature, to their bodies,, NOT their Addicted, programmed self! This coming from a guy who, I later found out, was arrested and jailed for 6 months for drunk driving! Ok,, Right,, we should be "free" to do what we want,, inflict our drunk driving on others?? Then, society, when it does work properly, doesn't have the right to "inflict" upon us by not allowing us to drive drunk.
 So where's the lesson learned, again? I'm wondering, when someone is arrested and jailed for driving drunk, isn't it mandatory to be made to go to AA/12 step meetings?? I mean, if people are not required to attend AA after driving drunk, then what's the incentive to change? He was still drinking yesterday at Thanksgiving.
 People Can do what ever they want,, go ahead! When the legitimate feedback that does come back at us from the world,, and it will,, eventually. Just be ready for it! It can be deceiving when it does take nature a long time before it slaps us in the face but actually, if we're paying attention, it really doesn't. Nature's voice is there all along speaking to us, we're just not in the habit of tuning in. It takes until we're being Body Slammed before we Get it.

 So,, the same way it's not "Fiscally" practical to wait til our bodies are injured and breaking down to begin developing a healthy relationship with it and begin listening to it,, so it goes with our relationships to the PEOPLE in our lives and then the EARTH/Natural Law!! Like yesterday in the ride to NJ with "family" and the "Normal" responses you get from them like I don't know what I'm talking about and that "I" couldn't Possibly know something that they don't know,, even though I've been studying and practicing Health on ALL levels ALL my life!! When people feel challenged,, instead of allowing themselves to BE challenged,, allow themselves to Let another person give to them and teach them,, they Block it!! So we basically interact with each other the way we treat ourselves and our bodies,, We Dismiss and we ignore!! We treat "family" like they know nothing rather than respecting they're input and behaving as if they just Might have something of value to say!
 All this is going on right under our noses,, and no one sees it!! 

Man Knows better than Nature

Ok,, I cannot help but feel this tremendous amount of urgency in how delayed we are in our response time to nature and health. If we think about how quickly a healthy body responds to a virus or sickness and then look at ourselves,, We lost! We've slacked off for way too long and taught of kids to slack off too. We, literally, have dismissed Nature's signals for so loooooong that it's just plain normal to us now. We've gotten so smug that we really are convinced that we know better than nature.
 When we ignore our own or another persons LEGITIMATE feelings, we are creating a debt that ends up perpetuating itself indefinitely.

 I started wondering why my brothers body was not arrested when it collapsed from the spinal cord injury?? Might sound like a silly thing to ponder but, when you think about it, people are criminalized every day for telling the truth so, why not criminalize the body when it gets sick and has had enough!? Why not criminalize and jail the animals and the environment for getting polluted?? How is it criminal or "un American" to question one's Government when it's a natural healthy response no different than the response your body has if you were to swallow Draino!!

 How dare Nature have a Normal response to a sick condition,, we learn to blame the effect instead of the cause. That's been going on way before the crash of 08. I have no idea what took people Sooo long to realize something is seriously wrong.

 The problem is, the further out to sea we've drifted, the more painful it is to realize and begin turning back. The further we've drifted away from Health, the more health and Nature will be beckoning us, maybe I should use the word,, "nagging" because once we ignore it,, it's calls get more and more irritating, then, we ignore it even more, creating a never ending perpetuation of Sickness and Debt. Why not face it? What better do we have to do? Oh, yes, that's right,, WORK for Fake $$!! Must keep system going. It Literally Bugs me out! How we are TOO busy screwing ourselves to Stop screwing ourselves!!
 FACT: Nature's Nagging is calling us to someone so much GREATER and so much More Amazing than Anything this Man Made system could ever give us, and All we do is ignore it! And say,, "No thanks Nature, I'm too busy being Stupid and enslaved to be the incredible, smart, evolved person you're guiding me to be!"
 THINK ABOUT IT,, We're telling NATURE it's WRONG!!?!? When it's Screaming and crying and pleading and being blown to smithereens, and warming and going extinct and starving and drying up and disastering,, is it any wonder that someone living in this country can be so disconnected from their own body breaking down and not heed the warnings?
 I imagine what happened to my brother and magnify that 10 Billion times! That is one person's personal system Crash! What's it going to look like when the entire system comes crashing down??
 It isn't just the Physical signs and symptoms we ignore, it's the emotional ones. We are so ignorant to health and Nature we are CLUELESS as to the CLEAR cues it's giving us emotionally. We look at people with NORMAL anger, legitimate fear, neediness, Trauma, sadness, depression, starvation, criminality, psychosis, etc and we continue TURNING AWAY!! ?? We continue doing the Very thing that created the conditions in the first place!!  That is ,, Remarkable!! And, also, is a sign of a Very Sick Society!!

 The way NATURE works, what a healthy, Natural response would be if Nature was allowed to act without the mind/program interfering, would be to address the problem, to go into, to Heal, the debt, to Integrate it. It certainly wouldn't judge it and add to the illness.
 The very definition of Nature is to HEAL. Only when the illness takes over and gains a good deal of leverage will it Not be able to recover. I Pray that is not where our society is at! For the time being it seems as though it is. It seems as though there is not enough for Healing to jump start itself. There needs to be something for it to grab onto. All the Corruption and evil that has accumulated is spreading more and more wildly. Where are the White Blood cells? If we could do a "white blood cell count" of the healthy people rising up, what would it amount to? Would it be enough of a boost to jump start the entire system into healing? I fear at times, there isn't, I hope I'm wrong, I hope that things don't have to go down too badly but, I have a feeling it does.

 There is NO question that our Society needs to be Defibrillated! Shocked back into a more normal rhythm, from the Ventricular Fibrillation we are currently in!
 Why? Fake $$ that's why! A Man Made toxic poison/disease that has been taken over by Ill people and driven us away from ourselves.
 The problem is, we never had the chance to get in touch with ourselves to begin with! So our innocent, naive ,selves have gotten led astray even more!
 We accept the low set bar for ourselves rather than raising it! the way Nature intended.  It's as if someone opened us up early on and rewired us to fit the system Against the way our True Natures function.
 THINK ABOUT THAT!! Training Nature to be what We want and respond the way WE want,, rather than listening to Nature's healthy responses!!
 If that doesn't scare the crap out of most people,, I don't know what will?? There it is,, a Blatant Injury to our Nervous Systems! Maybe not immediately but, over time it amounts to the same thing! Robbery. The more the Truth is offensive ,, the Further off coarse your mind and body have strayed.
 We need a Heath check on this.

Bodily Debt

It's hard for me to understand that it takes people a pretty long time to put 2 & 2 together. Many people do not understand how we, very seriously, have been conditioned FOR the benefit of Society at our OWN expense. For some reason, I was able to get a really good look at it early on, and despite numerous emotional bludgeonings, I've managed to hold onto it. Spending time alone can be a difficult thing but, it can also be a gift. This is where the challenge comes in. Most people give up some part of themselves to be in relationships. The unfortunate reality is, that we don't get to fully be all of who we really are growing up. We learn as kids that we have to give up what we feel, get Blackmailed because we live in someone elses' house, eating "their" food, needing "their" $$, we really never get to be free to be who we really are.

 So much gets taken from us growing up and we don't even know it. We're trained to be our own worst enemy because we were raised by enemies. Where else do we learn it from? We learn to accept less in life, to live with,, "it's not that bad" and be alright with it. It's Not the 1% who are the enemies, although they do play a distant role. We need to look closer, we need to look at how we and those around us are the ones trained to keep it all going even though it's screwing us.

 So many people never realize how our emotions were altered to benefit the system at our expense. We're trained that our Normal, healthy feelings and emotions are wrong, excessive, or bad. This is what creates DEBT in our Health. We can't be healthy physically until we are healthy emotionally because being trained to use our minds to contort our emotions wreaks havoc on our bodies. When we come into this world we're born with mind and body in sync, in our instincts, as one, the way they're supposed to be. Of course, that doesn't last very long and by the time we're a toddler we've already inherited a barrage of unhealthy teachings.

 Depending on the level of emotional health of our caregivers, we can learn to put our needs second and the "caregiver's" first. I believe that's where the "Too Big to Fail" comes from. The accumulation of too many people who were taught to not question parents and simply blindly follow. Because we "need" our "caregivers" we allow them to take from us and make excuses for their abusive, unhealthy behavior. We learn as kids to "donate" our energy to them so that they will be in a better position to take care of us but, then it never works out that way. We keep giving up more and more of ourselves to prop up the Too Big to Fails. We're a captive audience so there's nothing we can do about it, We're Screwed!

 Parents can do what ever they want to their kids, subtly, emotionally, over time and, as long as they don't leave visible injuries or wounds, get away with it. Parents can be the biggest purveor of abuse against a completely innocent child and that child can do NOTHING to stop it!! With "Parents" doing the job FOR the Powers that BE, the PTB are Free to act in as Corrupt behavior as they please and have out help in acquiring more and more power. Where else does this come from if it doesn't come from Families?

 Just like as children we fear standing up to parents, although many kids do and end up on the streets, because we need them and have no where else to go in many instances, we then carry that mentality to our jobs when we grow up and never stand up to Bosses because we'll be out on the street with no $$ and no job.
 Our society is crashing! The accumulation of all of the unhealthy ways we were taught to relate is coming to ahead.
 There are not enough people who face important things that are screaming for our attention. Not just our Physical bodies but our emotions that we've been taught to bury.
 We'd better get out the shovel!! And begin the PAINFUL process of digging our Authentic self out from under the false self that is bent on destroying ourselves.
 My brother is in the process of this right now! Big time! His Bill has come due! And he has NO choice now but to be confronted with the Harsh reality of the serious situation that, he, unfortunately, took part in.

 Even with the situation being as serious as it is people STILL do not want to face the truth. they STILL try to deny the reality and steal a little more "credit" from?? Somewhere. People don't want to accept life on life's terms and that the Earth, their Bodies all have limits.
 If we want to know accounting, pay attention to your body, to the earth, animals, people, anything that comes from Nature/God. We've have been led astray by the Fakery that man makes and have completely fallen for the Illusion. We have lost touch with what's real, what has true value and what makes life meaningful for cheap imitation man made garbage. $$ HAS LED US ASTRAY.
 Begin to pay closer attention to people, really look at them, listen to them, make a connection. We need to bring Nature BACK into our lives by going Slower in life. Nature moves SLOW, does things with quality

Humans SUCK at MATH

I simply cannot believe how badly I've watched people my entire life, supposed "ADULTS", "GROWN UPS", completely SUCK at MATH! Completely SUCK at being the "authority" that they're supposed to be. Totally DENY the reality and the feedback coming at them from their surroundings, from their children then, cover things up with MORE Debt, More Denial instead of "Simply" admitting things!? All they have is the Position of "Authority" MINUS the QUALIFICATIONS. Authority is MORE than the Label.
I'm having terrible Deja Vue  feelings all over again, same as when I was very young and all people around me would say, "oh your poor parents", I was the criminal for not being able to afford to be taking care and feeling sorry for the very people who're supposed to be caring for me! I'm to blame that I don't have it to give to Them! It's Psychosis in it's clearest form! People just want to TAKE but, Never give, then wonder why the resources don't exist! It's not just the Interest, that Peter Joseph talks about in Zeitgeist Addendum, that does NOT exist in circulation outright, it's the Knowledge, the Compassion, the relationship skills, Environmental Health, understanding, the LOVE, Does Not exist! We are allowing the fake system to take More and MORE of us! IF others don't see it and want to follow, that's on them, NOT ME. An if that makes ME the bad guy,, then SO be it! 

 It's happening AGAIN,, now with my brother. Like the Fed prints Fake $ out of Thin air!! I'm supposed to Magically,, Come up with the Emotional Funds,, The ONLY funds that are REAL,, to be dealing with this situation with my brother. How much stress can on person afford in one lifetime?
 Someone who is not a victim, who made extremely poor choices to put himself where he is and other people are supposed to "bail him out" without looking at and admitting that he messed up. Why give to someone who had blatant disregard in the first place? Why be so quick, without looking, doing the same thing he did, letting that person, perhaps, screw you too? I mean, if you're going to step in and "help" then you, at least, have the right to ponder the situation to find out whether or not you're efforts and energy will be used wisely and that you're not contributing to more of the same poor decisions.
 There's a reason why people are "Poor". When are we/they going to Learn to STOP being
CO DEPENDENT and dysfunctional? When are people going to look at the way they relate and behave and start making better choices that actually ADD to one's life rather than diminish.  

 The same thing is happening Nationwide with the people beginning to awaken and protest against the way the Gov/Fed uses THEIR tax $$ to wage fake wars against innocent people just to rob these countries of their resources and the "Elite" can take over the world and create their New World Order! Knowing what you are contributing to and being able to decide whether or not you have the energy and want to spend it on such things is YOUR choice! 
 So, just because this is our country doesn't mean we're a Captive audience and the Powers that Be can do what ever they want with our fake $$ and our energy/emotions. Because it's OUR country, OUR energy, our resources, that means WE get to decide where it's spent. That's the whole point! The "leaders" are supposed to be working in representation of the PEOPLE and they are NOT! So WHY fund you're own screwing? Just because it's "family", I have NO choice but to feel forced to "come up" with feelings I don't have, $$ I don't have?? I have to take care of him if it comes to it because he made poor choices with his life and automatically everyone has to "bail him out" now? Without so much as an apology from him for the way he has effected everyone's life!? Why would people do that?

 I've been speaking with many cousins and people who've driven with my brother over the years, myself included, who know my brother is a reckless driver. They've been telling me how they drove with him doing 85 mph on the GSP in NJ to or from Atlantic City in the rain while fiddling with his GPS/iphone and my cousins Pete, Joe and Uncle were telling him slow down and my brother called them the "P" word, jokingly, I'm sure. They said that only ONE other care had been going faster than my brother was and then a bit up the road they saw that car overturned in the median!
 Another cousin told me her teenaged daughter and her friend drove from Mass. to the city with my brother and were terrified by the experience. I, myself, had my brother pull over on the Belt Pkwy some years back and I got out! because I was terrified of his driving and his attitude to you is basically, F you if you don't like the way I drive! So, all these people, cousins, other relatives and friends who my brother told to screw off i you don't like my driving are just going to, now, jump up, without question, to give to someone what they didn't give you?

 Driving like a maniac not only shows No regard for yourself and your own life, drive anyway you want when you're alone, but to say "screw you" to people who are in your car, terrified, telling you to slow down is another story! That's clearly saying, "I don't care about Your life either!" Why would anyone want to screw themselves by jumping now that my brothers carelessness has expired?
 That makes NO sense! It would be a smart thing to do and you'd be doing the injured one a huge favor also, by doing something different! By, at the appropriate time, letting them know the truth.
 Even though it's himself that my brother has harmed, has very seriously put his body and psyche into a huge debt by blatantly dismissing some pretty obvious signs, he is Still "making withdrawals" on other people's emotions, without their consent, because of what's happened. A heartfelt apology from my brother for the toll that what's happened is taking on the very people he called the "P" word. Although there wasn't anyone else in the car with my brother, thank God, the situation is still hurting others. Then, the fact, that he made More poor choices, "driving" his life with recklessness by ignoring the clear signs from his own body. So, he ignored many people when they told him to slow down, that he's not a safe driver, he ignored people's feedback when they were telling him to go to the Hospital/Doctor when his symptoms were getting obviously worse, AND he ignored and completely disregarded his OWN Body!
 Sorry to be the truth exposer here but, does it make sense to do the same and dismiss all that and bail someone out without some sign the person gets what they've done and, perhaps, apologizes to those who's words he disregarded? I just don't think it's so smart to be so quick to forgive people unless you make sure they're not going to continue to do the same thing because Now, he has Still hurt people and is costing emotional heartache to the very people he brushed off! Without a real understanding that the injured person has changed and really gets it, by ignoring the reality, people are continuing to allow the wreckless person to "drive".
 The whole point is to take the control away from the unskilled person, to admit that it's obvious that he did not handle things properly, not to continue tippy-toeing around the Obvious issues and Not giving it to someone straight.
 The fact is, that it was more the way my brother drove his life than it was the way he drove his car that created most of the harm. Hitting the deer doing 50 in a 30MPH zone was NOT the most damaging. It was the dismissing of the symptoms getting clearly worse over time that caused the most damage to his body.
 I live my life a completely different way. I lived in the truth my whole life and people never liked it. I acknowledged the way we grew up as being unhealthy and others, including my brother, thought "it wasn't that bad".  The problem is, when you're willing to set the Bar for your life at "not that bad" then you get used to things being Shit. We're being trained to lower the standards of NATURE!! That's what happens when you're raised with low quality standards. If parents are the not the ones teaching their kids to reach higher, to not accept anything less than being treated with the utmost, and INSTEAD, teaching their kids to accept, "Not that bad" as a standard on which to measure your life, than people truly ARE the frog in the pot of boiling water!!
 All the emotional toll this situation is "costing" relatives is an investment towards someone who isn't great at managing their life. It is, in a way, Robbery. The fact that we're Ignoring what we're investing our emotions/energy into is a natural thing to start to take a look at. I don't see people running out to help the INNOCENT victims starving and being blown up in other parts of the world. Why don't we feel sorry for the victims? We're so quick to bail out those who made the mess; the FED, Wall St, Bankers, even before they acknowledge it fully and apologize, while we continue to BLAME the victim! BACKWARDS! If we don't admit to things Fully, how are supposed to CHANGE? Nothing changes because we Never slow down enough to Really look at the mess.
 What do investigators do when they Really want to find out the truth? I hear people say soo often about the situation with my brother when I try to bring up facts, "oh, that's the past! We have to think of your brother and think of the future. Guess what? you're NOT getting out of the past by trying to push it aside too quickly! In fact, the more you're in a rush to get out of the past,, the MORE is follows you! We have to look at HISTORY and learn from it in order to NOT repeat it. The quicker we try to "move on", sweep things under the carpet, the more it follows us. we have to "Clean" it up completely, get every speck!

 FACT; THE MORE FAKE $$ GOES IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION FROM REALITY/NATURE,, the more we will have to choose between the Fake $$ system that is taking us down OR, What has REAL Value and let go of the Man Made $$! The Scary part is, the longer we wait, the less and less of ourselves and our Healthy judgement will possess. It will be no different than being in a state of Hypovolemic shock! We will have a deficiency in our judgement and using that deficiency to perpetuate MORE deficiency. We need to recover our judgement. How? We think we can use our fake $$ to continue buying the reality we want, using $$ or our position at work to fool ourselves and others that we are doing good in life. We try to control the accurate feedback coming at us by Natural Law. Look where that has gotten us!   We Must reconnect with Nature!

Fudging the #'s!!!

I cannot help but feel,, and see more and more strongly how, when I was growing up, And TODAY. people were always, FUDGING THE #'s!! Meaning anytime I had an accurate, outspoken response that someone didn't like to what was happening around me, the "Authority" would, fudge the #'s, use their "magic" powers to fix the accounting to make it come out the way THEY wanted instead of the way it was.
 This talk we here lately about "Whistle Blowers" being the "criminal/bad guy" like Bradley/Chelsea Manning, Edward Snowden. Julian Assange, Lynne Stewart, Micheal Hastings,
Aaron Swartz, Jeremy Hammond when the REALITY is that some people are just Normal, Healthy and have a Natural response to Corruption and Injustice. This life is getting more and more Psychotic and we will not be able to continue denying that and covering it up making the Healthy people the Criminals!!
 I cannot turn on the radio, watch a Youtube video, watch Russia Today or listen to Alex Jones now without saying to myself, "Saying that since I'm 7!" The dismissive attitude of everyone around me when I was a kid telling me, "Oh, your poor parents, they couldn't take good care of you because no one taught them", bla, bla, bla, and how "I" get made out to be the Criminal at 7 &8 years old for doing them what "whistle blowers" are doing today. My life just happened in more of a , slow and gradual way, rather than the "sudden and violent" that I post many times fro the James Madison quote.
 When those who are supposed to be watching out for you, protecting you, and giving you an edge at an early age are NOT doing that and, instead, doing the opposite AND everybody else around is making excuses for them and telling me that I need to be feeling sorry for Them! Which I know I've written about before,, If THAT isn't blatant evidence that we're living in a totally Obvious Corrupt world, I don't know what does!!
 It's RIGHT THERE, plain as day, that my resources are being ROBBED and trained to be feeling sorry for the VERY people who are supposed to be supporting ME! No one thinks about the MATH then and there and what that will create down the road. Having my Normal, Healthy reactions to very stressful violent events being made out to be wrong or punishable when they're, instead, SPOT ON ACCURATE. Then, YOU as a child, are forced into an impossible Dilemma of having to CHOOSE between what you KNOW and feel, and the Incompetent, unhealthy people in charge!! THIS IS HOW WE get programmed to keep the status Quo going at the expense of ourselves!
 I KNOW that what is happening to my brother now,, whether or not anyone agrees,, is because he learned to be OK with,, "Not that Bad" as good enough, instead of shooting for Optimum, or at least, going in that direction.

 I read somewhere a loooooooong time ago that, It's NOT the Trauma or the stress or the horrible event that creates the damage, it's the DENIAL of it! That is Very TRUE!
 Not admitting the reality throws everyone Off Coarse, then you stay even MORE off course, yet more again. Instead of admitting the truth, people continue adding more Debt! More denial! 
 We come into this world with only So many resources, only so much energy. Our young bodies can only handle so much stress and trauma. Parents are supposed to be protecting us for as long as possible until we're strong enough and have built up More resources and strength. THAT'S WEALTH building! Our bodies and Psyches are NOT some kind of Unlimited Bank Account that Parents can use, abuse and exploit for their own selfish misuse, which is what many parents do, whether anyone likes hearing/reading it or not. That's what it's about after all.
  I heard/hear people say and think that kids are "resilient", "oh, they bounce right back", just stuff to say to themselves to make themselves feel better so they don't have to face the Truth! So, in other words, kids are like some kind of Samsonite luggage we can toss around and beat upon and not have to worry about the consequences? That is LITERALLY how the attitude has turned!! Children are here for US, to use! Didn't they come with a Money back guarantee? A warranty? Gradually,, that's how the attitude sloooowly turns around! Little by little, "authority" nibbles more and more off the future of their children in very subtle ways. If you  show any signs of breakage or usage, then there's something wrong with you!
I heard so many times in my life that "You're too sensitive". You're not allowed to have any showing of limits. Make another feel what they don't want,, Look out!
  More people are talking about acknowledging the fact that we are robbing future generations. People are supposed to be teaching and handing something of value down to the future, NOT passing on DEBT and pollution!! I couldn't believe how Obvious it was when I was a very young kid and No body cared! People were Oblivious to the fact that they were Blatantly Screwing you! And why shouldn't they be oblivious? Why not use up your resources and minimize the effects of it when they can do it and get away with it? It's Normal! Must be because No one stopped it or called it what it was. Like throwing one little piece of litter in the street,, what's One little piece going to do? When thousands, millions of children are being born into abusive, poor, starving conditions, that creates, NO FUTURE! 
 The problem ISN'T being exposed to stress or trauma or violence, it's the DENIAL. When we don't acknowledge the reality and call something what it is, it will keep us going in circles, perpetuating the same thing, SIMPLE! We have to admit
 Speaking with cousins of mine recently and hearing them talk about the way my brother drives, not one person hasn't had a terrifying experience with my brother behind the wheel. My cousin "Peter" was telling me about a time when he, my cousin Joe and my Uncle Rob drove down to AC with my brother driving and he said they All vowed to Never drive with my brother again! My cousin Joe wanted to get out of the car and sleep in a hotel, but didn't, my Uncle Rob said, which I've also felt, that it would catch up to my brother one day

Where/What is Health? DISORIENTED

  It's been a few days since my last post due to being in Ohio and dealing with my brother's injury. It's a difficult situation when you're forced into a situation having to deal with people who live life in a completely different way than I do. I practice living my life in Truth and fitness, attempting to be awake and growing every day. I've been that way my entire life. I felt it as a kid how confused most people are and the way they lived and were teaching me to live felt very,, twisted to me. I could feel the natural flow in my body getting very mangled and contorted by the very people who are supposed to be caring and supporting me. I could feel the discomfort clearly and would speak out about it all the time. I was always responded to by those around me with minimization and dismissal. I never lost touch with what I felt, however, and would think about it all the time how obvious it was that it was "family" doing their best to separate me from myself rather than helping me strengthen it. I always stayed in touch with the instinct inside of me guiding me no matter how badly those around me tried to get over on me.

  Everything I've been teaching myself, studying, practicing all my life is happening all around me as far as how important it is to be aware and pay close attention to your instincts and what your body/emotions feel. I've tried to make deposits to it all my life because I can feel how impossible our society makes it for us to get a really good hold on ourselves, let alone, add to and strengthen it. Living for $$ keeps us on a constant slip and slide forcing us to give up more and more of ourselves, our principles, our common sense, our ethics. it's happening now to educated, intelligent people, not only poor people who are forced even more to sacrifice more and more for $$. The educated people standing up will help the less educated and poor.
 So, it's become very obvious that my brother and his GF live on a different path than I do. I live with the goal of Fitness everyday, always striving to learn, grow, admit when I'm wrong and someone knows better than me. I crave learning and having another person know something I don't. I welcome it, unlike many others, who fight it and protect their program.
 The whole point of life is to know where you are in time and space. I've blogged about this topic before. We're familiar with North, South, East & West, yet when it comes to admitting we're wrong so we can change direction we deny it and continue repeating the same behaviors that created the mess in the first place.
 My point is, if a Spinal Cord injury is not enough to wake a person up, I don't know what is!!  Because I'm so used to admitting the "negative" all my life so I can call a spade a spade and do something different and others are not, it can create a very sticky situation. I have to step back from the situation and do what I have to do for myself.

   The bottom line,, LIFE IS VERY SIMPLE. That feeling we have when we start to get the hang of skiing, or some other activity that requires focus, where our minds and bodies are in total sync with physics and we don't have to think anymore. That's the way we should be living ALL the time! In every situation in life, we need to accept when we fall and have screwed up so we can learn to improve. The ENTIRE point of life is to gain Mastery over our emotions and our bodies. Not to be living the same over and over while dismissing feedback from life that is giving us valuable cues.

 I'm writing this because that's what I feel and see is happening with my brother and his GF in this situation. I don't get the sense that it's really sunk in. I don't see a person who has truly acknowledged the reality of the situation and has changed.

  I've dealt with people like that in the past, I've heard it all before from a LOT of people, the attitude of, "Be positive", "don't be Negative". I give up!! Let people live any way they want! PEOPLE ARE LOST!  PERIOD!! I'm not going to be seen as the bad guy by people who are lost! I can't believe how bad it is, how "normal" it is for people to be unfit then look at you, who's practicing walking up, and see you as the enemy. Yes! TRUTH and Reality are the enemy to denial and delusion. Yes, people who live their lives in denial are going to see an awake person as the enemy, Period!

  I had a run in with my brother's GF over "Be Positive" and that I was "Negative" because I was in NY and she was in Ohio with my brother and I was texting her all kinds of questions about my brothers condition. She called me up telling me he took a down turn and is now on a ventilator and that I had better contact my brother's son and let him know because, "This might be his last chance to see him" were her words. I began asking her things like, does he have a DNR?  What are my brother's decisions so that I know what to be prepared for as far as if my brother chooses to be kept alive on some kind of life support? I'm just trying to prepare for the worst case scenario! I asked her if my brother wants to live or is prepared to live, if it came to it, in a "vegetated state".

 Her tone from there changed and she became defensive. I wasn't sure what the problem was, and she texted back, "don't come if you're going to upset your brother". I was a bit perplexed but, it became clearer after I arrived there that it's that "be Positive" attitude and my "realist", living in Truth and calling a spade a spade, attitude that she took offense to.  I didn't want to go back there. It's a very difficult thing when someone who is a relative has made poor choices that have created a very serious situation and figuring out how to interact so that you're creating healing and not harm but, also, figuring out how to take care of yourself and not allow people to drag you down either.

  In my mind, I would expect someone with a Spinal Cord injury would be READY to wake up! So me, the EMT for FDNY that I was, the Personal Trainer for 20 years, the Massage, Yoga, Mediation, BE Present, person that I am, thinks I'm going over to deal with people who are on the same page as me. Ready to acknowledge, ready to make changes, ready to be different and all I felt was that they were continuing to do the same thing!! Fighting me rather than being on the same side. Of course the GF kept "saying" the priority is my brother's recovery yet, not acknowledging the seriousness of the situation. People think that if they keep making light of it and being "positive", that that's the way to go, when in my experience, that is Not and has proven to not work or else he would not be in the situation he's in!

  Most people tend to live in circles,, PERIOD! Doing the same shit over and over!! Too many people are so DISORIENTED and think that the signals coming at you are "bad" and continue to ignore valuable feedback. I titled this blog,, WHERE/WHAT IS HEALTH because I see too many people Not know what is and is not good for them. They ignore hat is good and listen to what is not. I've always followed this back to the way we were brought up. That's what happens when we live with less than healthy people who don't teach us right and raise us to be quality people. We get used to things being low quality that we don't even recognize it as such. If we grow up in a dysfunctional/ abusive environment and don't admit the effect it can have on our lives, then we will carry on with treating ourselves the same way.

 It was the exact same way when I was a kid and everyone around me would make excuse for my parents and why they couldn't raise me the way I deserved, as if physics was going to be put on hold for them and that the effects of the lax parenting would somehow magically be suspended!!

 "Oh, no body's perfect" I would here all the time! So what does that mean?? We go in circles forever??!! We don't acknowledge the truth and do nothing to change coarse?? WTF!! That TERRIFIED me my whole life!! I was life OMG! I'm on a ship lost at sea with incompetents at the steering wheel!! People just continuing to deny the reality and and perpetuate the same garbage over and over.

 I see it happening again! People don't want to take a good, hard look within!! At how they FUCKED UP!! That's the ONLY way to change!! That whole BS about,, "Be Positive"is just more unconsciousness being perpetuated so the person doesn't have to face the ugly truth! By saying,, "oh be Positive" people don't learn! You have to look Close at the mess you made. I mean, how else to people solve murders? Accident's? They do autopsies and investigate things! And even then,, we have  a lot of corruption covering things up.

 They will continue to perpetuate the Same shit because NATURE DOESN'T LIE! It's needs will be satisfied when nature says so. Not living in reality is what created this mess in the first place and they continue to do the same things! You obviously missed a spot if things don't improve. People want to FF to Positive too quick! So they can skip over valuable Clues!! You have to go through not only the Physical challenges now, but also, the Emotional ones. The Mind and Body are attached, like it or not. Even though it's obvious with a Spinal Cord injury that they've had a sever disconnect all along.

  My Brother's GF was attempting to make ME out to be some kind of "bad guy" trying to harm my brother and she needs to protect him from Me!! HELLO!! I could have EASILY went over there, guns blaring, pointing the finger at HER who lives with him every day! And watched him deteriorate until he collapsed and could not move, and she's supposed to be an RN. I just don't think people push the "loved ones" hard enough. If you live with someone, whether they're a drug user or an alcoholic and you see them taking themselves down the wrong road, or someone in pain and they're not dealing with it over a month, in order to protect your OWN life, because they are going to bring yo down too, you say to the person,, (because my brother and his GF have broken up over much more trivial things in the past many times) so If walking around deteriorating for over a month isn't something to fight over and break up over,, I don't know what is!!

  It all comes down to FITNESS,, how bad do you want to LIVE,, how much are you willing to PUSH. I weight trained and jogged for nearly 30 years!! Pushing myself and digging Deep down because I didn't want to be a loser in life. Guess it doesn't bother most people! They simply don't set that high of standards for themselves, which is why the country/world is Shit! The system doesn't require you to be a Quality person.

 I think the GF feels some guilt but, doesn't admit it and that's why she's attempting to put it off on me.
 There is NOTHING else in life,, except,, PAST/PRESENT/FUTURE,, with out present moment awareness, all we get is PAST/ FUTURE = a Vicious Cycle!! Get in touch with the REAL you under the Program!!

The Family as a Muscle group

Spending all this week with my brother and is Spinal Cord injury and participating in his rehabilitation and care has put me back in touch with all of the personal training, Yoga, EMT/FDNY jobs I used to have. It also puts me in touch with the fact that we live in a society that has no problem diagnosing and treating physical injuries and trauma but not emotional health. Being with my brother and seeing the incredible way the body functions and doesn't function when not given the respect it demands makes me think back to my readings and watching of John Bradshaw. He used to be on KQED 13 in the Bay area when I lived there in the early 90's. John Bradshaw would show family system interaction, demonstrating it with a mobile. He would explain that if the parents didn't interact and relate in healthy balanced ways, each getting their healthy needs met from each other, it would create an imbalance in the entire system, kind of like a muscle group.

  Seeing my brother and how his body is having a very difficult time communicating with itself and relating the way it used to reminds me of the way many people/families relate to one another with the interactions being less than optimum. There are many different levels of dysfunction and the problem comes when people begin defending and making excuses for their dysfunction. Of course it would be entirely ridiculous if my brother collapsed, unable to get up, was wheeled into the emergency room and was in complete denial of his injuries. Unless, of course, he had some injury to his brain also. His physical injuries are pretty blatant and unmistakable. He would not be offended when the doctor comes over to him and says, "you, sir, have a spinal cord injury". The fact that many people live Not at their full capacity already, yet, try to say to someone, "you are living at a less-than fully functioning level" and you would get all kinds of excuses and denial. WHY? My Favorite quote by James Madison again,, that's why! Because the slow and gradual is more dangerous than the sudden and the violent. Things that happen to us more gradually over time are much harder to see and slowly become more accepted as a part of us. If the accumulations of most things in life showed up all of a sudden, we would be much less likely to welcome them with open arms.

  Why do we live in such an emotionally sick world? Why is Family/relationship health not a common topic of discussion? Why is only Physical illness and/or injuries taken seriously and emotional health not? Why do we not have a standard of emotional/mental/spiritual health like we do Physical illness? Why do we worship mentally ill, elite, 1% ers who destroy our only planet for $ and assist them in doing so? Why are we not even able to recognize when our emotional state is out of alignment and, instead, get offended when it gets pointed out to us?
 We get so out of alignment emotionally over time that we continue using our misaligned perceptions to make ourselves even more misaligned. If we lived in a, Health as Priority, world it would be much more natural and an immediate response for others to let the out-of-alignment person know they're out of alignment. We would be much more connected to ourselves and real wealth, that our response time would be split second. Because we have been so conditioned by $ that has drifted so far off course and we are still following it even though it is a system that has been taken over by a drunk driver.
 I think of my favorite line from the movie JAWS, "Why don't we start leading the shark back to shore instead of him leading us out to sea?" We have been allowing ourselves to get lead "out to sea" and further away from shore and our health where we will end up with NO leverage eventually.
 The fact that we have to ignore that our body has been injured due to lack of health insurance or what have you, is a sure sign that our society and $$ are the opposite of one another.  

 Today my brother said what I've heard him say many times before about how we grew up, that it "wasn't that bad." I think of it as, not about being "not that bad" or not but, more about being Oriented in life. Calling something what it is is what makes us oriented and knowing where we are and what direction we need to be moving in. We want things in life to be Healthy, we want optimum, or we should. Having domestic violence and divorce early growing up is unhealthy. If we say it's "not that bad" it's because we're using our young, naive mind, the mind that the adults around us need to be strengthening and teaching, and instead we're going into debt because the very people who we need to be making deposits in our direction are incapable. We have no choice but to see things as "not that bad" because we are forced to put ourselves into "debt" to move more towards bailing them out. It's a form of AMS, Altered Mental Status, the same as the body going into shock.
 That's the whole point, if we're forced to decide with our immature mind that "not that bad" is going to be acceptable in our life when family should be the very people teaching us to accept nothing less than quality and being treated good in life, then we're like a body being taught that bleeding out is correct. The body can teach us a lot about health and having standards if we paid closer attention to it. The body definitely would not be telling that "not that Bad" is something we want to accept. The body would Never accept "not that bad". The body wants to live and be as happy and healthy as possible. Because most of us don't know that as a possibility we accept the crap the system/parents teach us to accept so the PTB can screw the shit out of us.

   Setting emotions aside, north is north, south is south, west if west and east is east. A spinal cord injury is a spinal cord injury and a broken family is a broken family. We have to call shit what it is if we are to know where we are in time and space. In Yoga we call it Proprioception. If we don't call something what it is we will be lost and disoriented and have NO idea where the F we are going. We can call it what we want to if it makes us more "comfortable" but the reality will always be what it is.

 Paying attention to our bodies signals and trusting that what our bodies are trying to tell us is real and that NOTHING should take us away from that and if it does, say Good bye to it! NOTHING should come before what our body, gut feels. NOTHING. Not even Fake man Made $$. We need to strengthen our connection to what our body is telling us or, like any other relationship, it will atrophy over time. We must work out our connection to our bodies and follow it's directions.
 My brother is finding that out now, but just because most of us do not have a SC injury does not mean the connection we have to ourselves is as sharp as it can be.

 I believe it's imperative to strengthen the connection we have to ourselves, especially if we came from a broken/abusive or dysfunctional family. Even if we think we came from a Great family, we should probably connect even more! Because, the fact is, this society wants to break the family down so it can have it's way with us. Just like the instability in my brothers neck due to the fracture, the family system can be unstable and end up making us less fit than we otherwise could be.
 I feel like I've been rehabilitating myself all my life from my unstable upbringing while watching my brother now relearning to do basic functions again. I always felt I was compromised growing up and taught to accept less than a healthy environment so I was always exercising in body and mind to make myself stronger. The system is designed to keep us struggling and in debt on some level. It was very difficult because I never had the support or the acknowledgement from others about the family condition that a spinal cord injury gets. Too many people around were in denial and lower their standards. The Bottom line, We're NOT using ALL of our Functions!!

 The fact is, is that the family system IS like a muscle group interacting in either fit and sharp ways or not.  We can always be more fit in the way we relate. As long as we use our acceptance of "not that bad" we will keep ourselves in much lower standards that we deserve. Remember, it's the Gradual loss of things over time that is harder to notice. We need to check in and make sure we're exercising hard to hold onto what we have and add to it.

It's Not $$ we need,, it's the Attitude!!

  Today is one week since my brother has been in the hospital. I never liked hearing people talk about injuries or hospitals and now I'm in one. I've been here since Monday so almost a week for me. My brother has a spinal cord injury from an accident with a deer, believe it or not, that he thought was no big deal at the time. Although symptoms were not going away too quickly, I imagine it's the whole, "I don't have health insurance so if I don't go to the hospital my problem will go away" type thing, that ends up creating a mathematically inconsistent situation where the "Debt" has to end up somewhere! Nature ends up having to speak out despite our not speaking out. Not having $$ does not stop nature from making itself and it's needs known. Not having $$ will not deter our bodies from feeling what it feels and giving honest feedback to the world. Denial just creates the same "Debt Economy" situation in our health that we've created in Society

 NATURE DOESN'T LIE,, I always say and write about in my blog. The fact that we live in a society where people have to ignore and deny what they feel because they can't afford to feel it is another thing I've been aware of and attempting to explain to people all my life. Not just our physical pains or injuries but, also, our emotional feelings. I've been aware all my life of how I was taught and treated so that I was not allowed to feel what I felt, emotionally. The unhealthy situations we're born into, or less than optimally fit, can be equated to trying to shove something into a space it doesn't fit into. The body is a good example because it's packed pretty tight inside the visceral lining and there isn't much room for anything else. Imagine trying to shove an extra organ or, think of when a woman gets pregnant, the pressure on other organs and the aorta when she lays flat.

 I feel that when we bring children into and already stressed situation that's what we're doing. Creating a kind of tumor/hernia situation, pushing up against, crowding and straining the other parts around. We need to create children from the most optimum conditions; Loving, respectful parents who like We can say how wonderful babies are all we want, it's not the baby, it's the situation. I hear people say all the time,, "Oh kids are So wonderful!" It's NOT the kid,, it's the MATH of the situation. People attempt all the time to call something OTHER that what it is to make it nice and manipulate the accounting but, THE MATH IS THE MATH. The situation needs to be accommodating and affordable or else we end up with a type of "back up". We end up extracting from our kids rather than them taking from us all they need to become healthy, strong, quality adults. Too many "parents" are simply not mature or responsible enough and children will put your marriage/relationship to the test! Not enough people build themselves up first before the "weight training" of bringing a life into the world and that's why too many people end up divorced, thereby, passing down a bit more debt. The direction the "circulation" flows in ends up being backwards. We end up cheating our kids out of all they Fully deserve. We need an environment that can afford to accept ALL of who we are when we enter this world. If' we're made to feel that any part of us is bad or wrong when we're growing up, we learn to "cut off" that part of ourselves early on. My favorite, John Bradshaw, would say it's like trying to hold a beach ball under water. We walk around contorting our inner Posture to accommodate those around us instead of our environment accommodating us. We learn to strangle what we feel if those around us are not healthy and have not dealt with their healthy feelings. Us feeling what we feel forces them to have to look at and deal with unresolved painful emotions so they tell us our feelings are bad or wrong, when if fact, they are spot on!

 We, the "little guy" need to learn to live and Be larger, not smaller while the Big guy, the 1%, Elite can learn to live smaller. They could stand to lose the weight! Financially Morbidly Obese is the term I've used to refer to those who have way more than they need. Just like the body can only eat so much before it gets full, the fat storage begins or that our nervous system can only take in only so much stimuli before we get overstimulated and traumatized, we can only take in and use so much $$ and power before our bodies and emotions get imbalanced and turn Psychotic. We have TRUE mental illness in this country and the world when we have too few with way more than 99% of the populace.
 I heard my brother speaking with the PT yesterday who once worked in NYC at Dean Witter while my brother once worked for J.P. Morgan and the PT said that today the average person could never get hired at one of these firms. Years ago himself and others could get a job on Wall St but, today only those coming our of Ivy League colleges get hired at these firms. Gee! So how is the little guy supposed to lift himself/herself up? It's pretty obvious then that the privileged will continue to get and those without, won't.
 I imagine the attitudes the privileged grow up having as opposed to the mind set of the rest of us. I could not imagine an Ivy Leaguer walking around denying within themselves their emotional feelings, except for maybe, Compassion, let alone walk around with neck pain and not feel entitled to have it tended to. Us 99%'ers are our own worst enemies because we don't have the attitude of a Wall St banker or an Ivy Leaguer.
 When we live in a impoverished environment early in our lives, and by impoverished I'm not necessarily talking about $$, because plenty of poor people are anything but poor in attitude and love. We learn to not have much regard for ourselves, to not think much of ourselves and do what we need to take good care of ourselves. The wealth is more inner and natural than $$ which is value that is more real.

SWEAT the small stuff! The Slow and Gradual is MORE dangerous!

  Because it's the small stuff that accrues into one huge, Major event! The problem is that people don't respect the small stuff until it amounts to a Catastrophe!! The small is exactly what we need to pay attention to more! The "small' is exactly what we want to heed, catching it at the manageable level preventing it from turning into a Monster problem!
 I'm convinced more than ever now that our Capitalistic system has kept us disconnected from reality and the true Cost of keeping the $$ system going at our expense. To have a normally health, capable still fairly young, brother bed ridden seemlingly overnight needing to be fed, and have an itch scratched for him brings you into reality immediately! I blog all the time about not paying attention to the signs and symptoms that nature clearly gives and how we've managed to minimize and disregard them at our convenience. To me, what is happening now is a "smaller" example of what we will face on a more global scale due to our disconnection from the natural world and the signals out bodies clearly give us.
 I remember taking a John Perkins workshop just a couple of years ago and being told about the Indigenous people in the Amazon and how they can look at plants and know if they are sick. Can your average American do that?? Funny, in just the last sentence, I accidentally wrote "american" in all low case and the red underline come under it until I made it Capital "A!" Please!
 I know I wrote this yesterday but, I really feel the urgent need to write it again,, that if this can happen to 1 person within their own body, with clear signals of numbness in limbs and inability to lift an arm to comb your hair, and it takes until the body has to say it LOUD AND CLEAR by collapsing on the floor, like, "did you get it yet?" the body is asking,, "Is that clear enough for you?" to bring you to the ER to find a fractured vertebra and swelling on the spinal cord, then I can't even imagine on a global scale what we are all in for!! And if we think that it's just the starving, those being droned or bombed in wars or the poor who are footing the bill, think again! We are the ones passing the bill on. We will get our share. Bet my life on it, for not making doing more for the atrocities taking place in other parts of the world. I feel it in my hear that there is NO getting around the laws of Nature and the bill will come due, it's a mathematical certainty.
 I try to stress in previous blogs that we need to be more Fit, that it isn't just the absence of paralysis, cancer, alzheimers, stroke, post traumatic stress, that makes us "healthy". That we need to make Deposits to our health account and be as fit on all levels as we can be. Just walking around able to move and work and pay bills does not necessarily mean we are in as top shape as we can. The fact that our jobs consume all of our energy and time leaving us little left to even get to know who we are and what we want. Are our jobs a reflection of what we believe? Are we doing what we truly want to be doing if life? Isn't it obvious than, if the answer to those questions is, "no", that we're living and perpetuating a totally dysfunctional system? The fact the we don't even have a firm "grip" on ourselves, who we are, and that we do not have enough leverage and "muscle" to keep ourselves from 'tipping over', losing our balance more and more every day, every week.

  I tried telling people, like I've blogged many times, how I felt my health being compromised early on growing up in a less-than healthy environment and feeling the injury and harm inside myself to which NO one took seriously or responded to in a Fit way. Because I felt my health was compromised very early and I had NO one who listened or headed the signal, I began reading every book I could on dysfunctional, abusive families/relationships, I started physically exercising at age 16 in my room doing calisthenics and running in the neighborhood. I learned that families can end up costing more than they're worth when you have parents who take advantage of you as a captive audience. As long as we make excuses for the dysfunctional ones, continue enabling and 'bailing them out" rather than holding them accountable, we are perpetuating the DISEASE. Where it will lead is anybodies guess. Don't listen to me, find out for yourself. It isn't me saying it, it's Natural Law.

I needed exercising because I craved the Truth, I craved the honest feedback and interaction that only comes from relating to inadament objects. People can leave your head spinning with all their cover ups and making up whatever rules they feel like, especially when they're in "charge". They have to act like they know what they're doing even when they clearly don't, making things much worse than if they just admitted they don't have a clue! Weight training and running, then Yoga felt like such a relief!! To be exchanging with something that was Not going to rip me off, was not going to lie, pull the, "I have the Power, I can do what ever I want", crap with me. I felt, treated fairly and with respect when I was lifting weights. Yoga practice is Entirely about ACCEPTING where you're at, accept the pose you can do with integrity!! Wow! What a concept. Unlike my brother who is now finding out in is own way, I made my emotional and physical health my priority because I taught myself early that if any situation, including "home" tried to get me to listen to THEM over what my gut said,, I was outta there!! Even if no one else saw it or validated me and what I felt, "I" knew what I knew and knew what I felt! I knew I was screwed by the very people who were supposed to be protecting and supporting me and that my body and Psyche was in NO way able to afford to be bailing anyone else out or feeling sorry for them not being able to be there for me! That was clear things were being turned around and I was being taken for a ride!
 I truly believe that what is happening to my brother is the slow and gradual diversion the system is taking us on, away from health and nature, so it can keep us trapped and enslaved in the fake Economy. The Only REAL Economy is your health on ALL levels! Anything that takes you away from that and asks for more and more of you, FUCK THAT!! Most people already start out in life without enough leverage and teaching from parents who are on the ball and are smart, so we're already in a partial "Debt" in our level of health. That only leads to a depletion of our energy because no one taught us to respect ourselves and how to take care of and love ourselves, our bodies or each other. We ignore the only bodies we have and the signals glaring at us from our environment. Why do we want to live dysfunctionally and less than when we can and have a RIGHT to live as fully and healthily as possible? We ignore our health and shun our own bodies when they try to get our attention. Why? We don't have health insurance and cannot afford to feel what we feel. That is the same thing I learned early on that I payed attention to and attempted to reverse. People around could not afford for me to feel what I felt emotionally, so they downplay and minimize the effects, while nature is not compromising itself. It will continue to hold us to it's highest standards, like it or not.

 So while I could have been living much more fully and healthy with confidence and good self esteem, having had someone to respond to me the way physics does when I weight train, what a life would have been possible!

  I had my brother watching "I AM", documentary with Tom Shadyac on reprioritizing one's life and stop chasing the "Stuff", not that my brother is a total "stuff" person but most of us are conditioned to chase materialism at the expense of everything else. I pray that more people don't have to have serious health impairments or natural disasters before they make the time to put effort into what real value is!

Tuning in to Nature's Signs & Symptoms

 I'm writing this from the cafeteria of Mt. Carmel West hospital in Columbus, OH waiting for visiting hours to resume so I can go back upstairs and visit with my brother again. He had surgery yesterday on his C1, 2 & 3 and has an infection in the same area. He thought he had whiplash from a run in with a deer in late Sept and just had a Stiff neck. The pain was not subsiding and he was not able to turn his head for weeks. To make a long story short, he ended up falling due to the progression of an Abscess in front of C1, 2 and a fracture to one of them, creating loss of mobility to his legs and arms!
 I drove from NY to Columbus, OH in a state of urgency while they were wheeling him into surgery to fuse C1 & 2 to C3 to stabilize the fracture and relieve the compression on the nerve. Seeing my still young, and in normally in good shape, brother helpless in this hospital bed unable to move very well 3 of his 4 limbs is extremely painful!
 I wanted to write about this because I can't stress enough when I write my blogs, the connection to nature and the body that has, also, deteriorated in our Society and many people do not even recognize! The relationship "fitness" that we have with our environment, as well as out bodies, has gradually diverted us off course to the point that we simply do not take the signs seriously enough. I feel that if we lived in a healthier society our response to the callings of Nature would be instantaneous! Immediate! Sharp as a blade! The response time would be in a FLASH, the way is when it's Fit.
 I just feel that what is happening with my brothers' health is a metaphor for the amount of disconnection we live with and think is normal, which is actually a signal to look into something serious. If our System had health as the Priority, we would not have so much Corruption in Government, in Corporations, banks, politics, etc. These issues are Illnesses, PERIOD. People being disconnected from each other and functioning in perpetually more disconnecting ways.
 Like a person from Asia visits Greece, for example, and has No idea how to communicate, that is the way some people live within their own bodies and families. Not knowing the language. We do not know what certain feelings we have mean, either Emotionally or Physically.

  We learn growing up to dismiss much of what we feel rather than work WITH it, to integrate it and consider it. We think by dismissing and disregarding it we are getting away with something, when the entire opposite is true. All that does is create more and more of the debt. So it goes with our bodies it goes with our communities. As long as we see other cultures and countries as separate and the enemy when, in fact, we are all part of the same larger body, we will be screwing ourselves and perpetuating and worsening our current problems indefinitely. It's Obvious we don't want to solve these problems because $$ has replaced Real value. People see $$ as having more value than connection and peace. We need disconnection to feed the $$ system. So, it's clear the Diseased Mind has taken over. The disconnected mind is in the drivers seat!
 We do the same thing to ourselves. We're taught to cut off valuable parts of ourselves emotionally and physically over time because we learn, "We can't afford to feel". No one teaches us to slow down and actually DEAL with our feelings. No one teaches us that our feelings are valid and accurate feedback coming from nature. We learn to contort our bodies and emotions to fit the sick system rather than the other way around!
 It makes no sense when I hear people say that they're too busy to wake up and pay attention. Too busy working, with kids, laundry, eating, whatever. So, essentially what they're saying is that they're too busy feeding the Corrupt system to make the time to do the right thing! Think about that for a second. We don't have the time or energy to do the health, just thing, because we're too exhausted from putting all our energy into Screwing ourselves??? SLAP! "Snap out of it!" like Cher said to Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck!

 So that's it? We're gonna keep screwing ourselves and allowing the Psycho, power hungry, unhealthy Elite to lead us over a cliff and we're going to continue to follow.

 This is why I looked into things So closely. What is the point of life then? The whole point is to Wake up! Be Conscious! Be in charge of your mind and body and not just be led. That's the whole point! To BE Alive! To be Awake! The Problem is not the Problem! The Solution is IN the Problem! The second we become aware, the problem disappears! The answer is IN the Problem! That's why there's really no such thing as "negative". "Negative" is just a judgment. It all comes down to what I learned at the Omega Institute with Denabandu from the Kripalu Center, the way to break the vicious cycle is to BE in the Present moment. PAST/PRESENT/FUTURE,, without the Present, we have a vicious cycle,, PAST/FUTURE. The very thing we try to get away from follows us if we do not stop to look at it.
  There's No way around Physics. Slow down, Be more in the NOW. Pay closer attention to seemingly menial actions. Really LOOK and feel and BE. We really do miss so much of the important things by dismissing what we think is trivial. It's the Accumulation of the dismissal of ALL the seemingly "trivial" things that add up to the HUGE Debt we've accrued.

 In the end we will find that it is our connections to others that will be the most valuable thing. Not $$ or Status or position. Only things that come from Nature, that have "ripened" over time and cultivated with love and presence. Why live with "junk" relationships with our own bodies and other people when we can have Fit and super nutritious ones? We just have to make an effort to learn how to "farm". We have No idea how truly amazing life can be because we were never taught or had it modeled for us. Those who hold the strings are taking total advantage of that and they will not be the ones to tell us or show us. The fact that we pay them $ to do it is Ridiculous because $ is not real. It's a self perpetuating cycle. The $$ only fuels our screwing! Because we're not starting out with the Natural ability to stand up to them in the first place. It's what comes from inside of us, standing up to the PTB Powers that Be, that is the Vitamin that will do the trick. How can loading fake man-made $$ on things ever get us the result we seek?
 So whether in our own bodies or in the Environment and the community, as long as we continue to perpetuate rather than turn around, as long as we allow ourselves to more lost in momentum rather than waking up and gaining our composure, we will be carried away by the "rapids" of our emotions and getting triggered instead of looking at Why people feel what they feel.
 There is Nothing Slowing down and giving more time and attention to can't cure! That is Exactly what is needed,, more NATURE,, NATURE is what's Missing!
Feeling that we don't like in others or in ourselves, anger for one, will continue until we invite anger in! The more we shut it out, the more it will push it's way in! Anger is valid! It's Not bad, negative, wrong or anything else we've been conditioned to believe so the Elite can brainwash us into submission. The Debt is our lack of Power and use of our Valid Anger. They use $$ to keep us cut off from our True wealth! If we Stopped going after the fake $$ and realized we had the wealth in us already,, the 1% would be F d!! :)
More people need to get courageous to tip the scales.

Personal Training for Society

Here is a piece from Matt Taibi's article in Rolling Stone Magazine,, entitled Looting the Pension Funds: How Wall St. Robs Public Workers.
  Here's what this game comes down to. Politicians run for office, promising to deliver law and order, safe and clean streets, and good schools. Then they get elected, and instead of paying for the cops, garbagemen, teachers and firefighters they only just 10 minutes ago promised voters, they intercept taxpayer money allocated for those workers and blow it on other stuff. It's the governmental equivalent of stealing from your kids' college fund to buy lap dances. In Rhode Island, some cities have underfunded pensions for decades. In certain years zero required dollars were contributed to the municipal pension fund. "We'd be fine if they had made all of their contributions," says Stephen T. Day, retired president of the Providence firefighters union. "Instead, after they took all that money, they're saying we're broke. Are you fucking kidding me?"

 The line where it reads, "It's the governmental equivalent of stealing from your kids' college to buy lap dances."

  What about those "families" who don't even have College funds for their kids? What do call that? EXACTLY like Matt Taibi writes this is exactly what happens in many "families". What is happening to our Society IS being handed down to unsuspecting, ill-equipt, unable to afford, didn't ask to be born, INNOCENT Victims,, called Children! 

 I TRULY believe that Just bringing a child into this world in these times is near the equivalent to child abuse because there is NO way around the fact that that child will, in some way, shape, or form, inherit some amount of debt environmentally, financially, psychologically or otherwise.

 

 The article continues to describe how it's the same Wall St crooks who caused the crash who are not the ones saying that Police, Firefighters, teachers are the one responsible for their cities being broke! 

 

 People ARE Robbing their child's futures and leaving them with a SHIT load of problems that they will in NO way be able to ever get out from under. 

 I believe that it's poor Parenting that is responsible for the fact that people are not rising up! 

 I have a cousin who lives in Fla visiting NY for a Bday party and staying for a week with his 22 year old son. We all hung out together the other day and took a trip to the city and walked over the Brooklyn Bridge. We rode the subway and during the ride I began to tell my cousin's son about some of the things I focus on about corruption, that I didn't attend the Bday party because I felt it necessary to attend the big Rally in DC against NSA Spying that same Saturday. I went on a bit about how we're being taken over and future generations are going to inherit the mess. He replied with something like, "I never heard anybody speak like this" and then with the "What can you do about it?" common theme. I mentioned a few things to him like the Commission on Corruption, Moreland Act, public hearing that I attended investigating the board of Elections. Which brings me to the point of, What are we teaching our kids? Or NOT teaching them? People are just TOO oblivious to SERIOUS facts that are going on and cannot afford to not know!    

We NEED to be Challenged!! We need some Roughage in our Diets!! If Parents don't teach and step up to the plate and raise their kids to be informed, to ask questions, to challenge the status quo, then they are doing their Children a GRAVE Injustice!! Then it's Not the 1% who are to blame then is it? 

If parents don't think enough of their own children to make an effort to teach them to be the best the can be, to help them get the leverage they require to survive, you're literally feeding your kids to the wolves! 

There is too much Blatant corruption going on today for people to not be doing something, be informed somewhat. 

It makes sense to me that the reason people are not out in the streets in the MILLIONS is due to the way they were brought up. Too many "families" are NOT doing their job! People get used to being treated like crap at home, think it's normal then when shit like the crash and bailout happen,, "Oh, no big deal". Not enough people are outraged because they feel so unworthy. They have so little self esteem and sense of power that they just throw their hands up and put up with it. Having fake $$ will not save you either. Paper $ is the Problem! We need a healthy earth, water, relationships, self confidence. What good is paper $ with out that?

  That is NOT parenting!! If people were raised the way nature demands, if parents TRULY Loved their kids, they would not be putting up with no where near the amount of crap that the public is taking. THIS IS YOUR CHILD'S PLANET! 

Parents should be like Personal Trainers to their kids!! Being there to encourage, to support, to champion, to listen, to comfort when needed. Some parents push their children too much to be and grow up too fast while many do not encourage at all. The healthy way is to cultivate a child's growth Nature's way! Create the conditions for the child to grow and Nature will do the rest. When we do things with Nature, there's no struggle, no force.

 We have lost our Pride and need to get it back before it's too late and your children have no future. The shameless Wall St. bankers are amping it up! They will use whatever complacency you give them against you! This is not to be taken lightly, times are getting more and more dire. You are here to be more than you were taught, to use more than you thought you had. STOP being your own worst enemy and start exercising the Muscles on those who deserve it and NOT on the vulnerable and poor who Don't!! What Psycho get's off on violating and abusing the weak and poor? Only those without the courage to stand up to the REAL Criminals.

 I don't want to repeat myself although, that's what has to be done. I feel like I write about the same things yet, that is exactly what people need. I think of how many bicep curls I had to do, how many squats, lunges, tricep extensions, lat pull downs, for years in order to shape the muscle and train it to be stronger. There was a reason I was a Personal Trainer for the body for 0ver 15 years.

Now I want to be the Personal Trainer for Self Worth, for Societal Fitness. For recovering from the misinformation most of us were fed.