Time and time again I hear stories of people being victimized by someone abusing their power. This is a more extreme example and I fear that the abuse has to be severe, physical abuse of many people in order for justice to be served. Those in positions of power showing no respect to people has become the norm. The landscape of the system is riddled with the slow and gradual abuse and disrespect of entire populations of society that it goes unnoticed.
I refer many times to a fav quote by James Madison - I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by slow and gradual encroachments by those in power than by sudden and violent usurpations.
This is my fav quote because I said it before reading it somewhere. Not quite as elegantly but the gist was the same. It was when I was working for FDNY/ EMS in NYC. We responded to traumas and sickness and such but the gradual deterioration of the communities went unnoticed. No one was healing that. It was clear the system was as it should be and my "job" was to keep it that way. Not ever getting to roots of problems or healing whole communities. Just enough to skim off the top but, never reaching deep enough. It was clear those "running" the system was not interested in truly doing right by its people.
That is a form of abuse that is much more subtle yet just as devastating over time.
Where is the line drawn? What is defined as abuse, neglect, less -than optimum behavior? I've studied psych and abusive relationships all my life due to growing up in an emotionally torturous, neglectful and less-than respectful environment. But, because I was not physically bruised and battered or sexually molested and "only" emotionally abused and tortured the abuse was allowed.
The same thing with Eric Garner and Freddie Gray. Because they've been, and millions like them, gradually disrespected and murdered over time, it's that much more acceptable to simply kill them physically. They're already one step below actually physical death. The system has been sweeping us all towards it for decades. Some just closer the the edge than others.
One victim of Daniel Holtzclaw said- "I didn't think anyone would believe me, I'm a black female". The eldest victim of Holtzclaw, 57 year old Jannie Ligons expressed feelings of being traumatized. She spoke out in a news conference, "I was a victim, I was traumatized, I went to therapy", she also spoke of having a stroke. "I still live with it day after day. All I know is, I wasn't a criminal, I have no record, I didn't do anything wrong". She said Holtzclaw stopped her because she was swerving. She said she wasn't, that he just wanted to stop her. "I was innocent and he just picked the wrong lady to stop that night".
Holtzclaw was under investigation under the sex crimes unit 6 weeks before his last crime. Meaning, he assaulted half his victims while under investigation. Some are questioning as to whether Holtzclaw was enabled by the entire system that devalues black women.
An organization that became involved called OKC Artists for Justice saying Holtzclaw preyed on women who lived impoverished areas.
Another story from people speaking out about abuse of power. The same issue I've been speaking up about since 1970 living in an abusive home. If so many adults can be preyed upon and fear speaking out that no one will believe them, that they're not credible enough, imagine what it feels like for a child pointing their "parents" as the abuser.
I ask the question every day when I hear stories like these why some people get to tell their story and others do not. Will I ever get the chance to be heard and speak out about the psychological torture and depression I was forced to live with in my own house? These women are saying the exact same thing as I've been for 45 years! If Jannie Ligon was innocent and victimized, what of a completely innocent child in their own home by "parents" who that child depends on with their life?
I never hear any stories about abusive "parents" when a parent has the ability to abuse more than anyone? I'm sick of writing about this and feeling like there's nothing that can be done. How is it different than the story of these women? Who is a child going to go to? I told people how horribly I was treated in my house and people did nothing. They do what the system did with Holtzclaw, they enable. They say "oh your poor mother". They let Me, the innocent take the fall. There was not one person who stood up and protected me, respected me, treated me with worth and value like I deserved.
I was no different than these women. I child does nothing wrong, is totally innocent when their abusive parent does the same thing as Holtzclaw, abuses power and preys on their own vulnerable child to feel better about themselves.
I was the same innocent "bystander" as Ms Ligon when I was born into an abusive situation then the abuser enabled by neighbors and others when they tell me to feel sorry for the abuser and there's no justice for the most innocent. This is the country we are living in. Where those who are supposed to protect and serve are the abuser because the system is not about justice, dignity and values, it's about Corp Profit at the expense of all of those. It's about the few at the expense of the many. I'm here to inherit the debt, the psych garbage like so many.
I went to therapy for years and paid out of my own pocket for something that was done to ME! My entire life revolved around nothing but health, fitness and healing trying to overcome extreme feelings of low self worth, self-sabatoge, self mutilation and trying to find a safe place with people who would protect me. I never found it. When you don't grow up with healthy people to rely on you get victimized endlessly for the rest of your life. Once you're victimized you're re-victimized again and again because there isn't anyone who is going to put forth the effort to save your life. There are too many predators because that's the society we live in. You're gradually victimized, poisoned over time by your own "family" and community because everyone is in on it. The entire population is in on it, even the victims themselves.
How is a child supposed to stand up for themselves against those who should be protecting them? Because those around have no self worth they're not going to make the effort to step up for a child. They have no problem letting the child take the fall because most people live their lives by a very low bar.
Holtzclaw's bail was first set at $5 million then another judge reduced it to $500,000. Holtzclaw also violated a home monitoring system while under investigation to go to a doctors appointment. He spent 14 days in jail and was then allowed to go back to the home monitoring system. "That's unheard of", said Grace Franklin of the Artists for justice.
Another victim of Holtzclaw spoke at the news conf. "I didn't expect to get violated the way I did". Sharday Hill was handcuffed to a hospital bed and her clothes taken. l just couldn't even believe it. I was speechless, I was scared. When everything was going down,,,, pause,, I was scared, I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was in survival mode so I felt like I had to do what he was making me do".
Again, if just one incident of being violated by someone in power can traumatized people that much, imagine what spending 2 decades living with the abuser can do to a child's health.
I literally shake upon hearing the next part because it is the exact description of what I went though as a child. It's like someone is describing MY story. 2 of the women were brought into the court room to testify Against Holtzclaw wearing the orange jumpsuit and handcuffed! While the defendant, Holtzclaw, sat wearing a nice suit. Which is why Grace Franklin of OKC Artists for Justice believed only 8 of the 13 women were believed. It gave the impression already that the women were guilty and Holtzclaw was the victim. That is exactly how I felt by age 8. Guilty! And the "poor" abuser is the victim. I've been saying this for over 4 decades. The "family" is the easiest place to abuse. Like water running downhill if the "parent" is simply unwell, immature or the child is not wanted. How can we expect the health of a person to not come out eventually? How can we expect truth to not show itself?
I have no choice but to wait until I'm near middle aged to come out and now try to stand up for myself because those who's job it was betrayed that trust. It's not just the police and the courts.
The system is SUCH a debt system that you literally have to raise yourself to then go 'back" to be person you needed over 45 years ago!
If there is anyone out there who can help me get justice for myself, please contact me here or on FB message. Cat Watters. Pic of me with We Are All Muslim sign.
My life was ruined. I've lived in excruciating pain my entire life. I have PTS and probably will for the rest of my life. It's hard to keep a job. I fear abuse all the time. I fear being my full, healthy strong self out of fear of being criminalized and abused for it. Being strong and smart was a crime.
I lived the micro of the macro of what more people are coming out about. The abuse will continue as long as people bow to the Criminals at the "top" who profit off the abuse and the killing of millions of people world wide. It will continue to be a prison, war world unless we do something.
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